Going Keto

So, in my attempts to become more healthy and reduce in size--

WAIT.  STOP.

I will ALWAYS, always, always believe that you can be healthy at ANY size, that beauty isn't the sole proprietorship of the slender and willowy, that you can't determine health by silhouette, that fat isn't a FLAW, it's just a thing, just like skinny.  All women are real women, regardless of size or shape and men like curves or not curves or whatever they want to like and that's really immaterial to how you should see yourself as a person of value and worth.

HOWEVER.  *I* cannot be healthy at the size I am now.  That has nothing whatsoever to do with my perception of personal attractiveness and everything to do with the fact that I've had two strokes, and obesity is a risk factor, on top of the THREE I already have.

Also, I get winded going up stairs.  So there's also that.

As I was saying--in my attempts to become more healthy and reduce in size, I've started a ketogenic diet.

I know, it's extreme.  But I also know that my body stores carbohydrates like a hoarder stores empty boxes and toilet paper rolls.  I know that to lose weight, I need to reduce them as much as possible, because along with the fat I store, I'm retaining water like it's my job.  So, I've been doing this for a week now--ketone strips tell me I'm pretty solidly in ketosis.  I lost 12 pounds the first week, and sure, that was mostly water, but it's still 12 pounds I don't weigh now.

I am pleased with my progress.  I know I can't maintain that level of loss for long, but having a dramatic first week sure helps keep me motivated.  Plus, I've been using a lot less insulin and I'm almost never hungry, so there are a lot of perks here.  I can cook everything in butter and my extra cheese requirement seems like a matter of health now.  There are definitely more upsides than down.

But, I would give my left tit (it's the bigger one) for a consequence-free bowl of Anne's Organic Mac 'n Cheese, for real.  Those bastards who said I'd stop craving carbs in a week or so are lying liars.  Man.  You cannot adequately replace white bread and tortilla chips and pasta with lettuce leaves, pork rinds and spaghetti squash.  Close, but still.  I miss carbs.

It's tough.  But I'm committed.  It's quite literally a life and death endeavor at this point.